Look at me now!!

Trevs Perspective (;

Wow! Can u believe it! A whole year??! Awhile back my momma wrote in my blog and titled it 'The Mommas Perspective', and it was my daddy who started the whole thing, so I ;) decided it'd only be fair if I got to put some stuff in here (and probably the final...we're pretty boring now days YAHOOO!!) from MY, 'Trev Spencer Webbs Perspective' (corney, yes my mom knows but thought it'd be cute anyway)...here I go. Ahh what do you know my mom immediatly burst into tears at just the thought of trying to sum up the last year of my life. I changed my families whole life. Changed it in ways that can't even be put into words. Certainly not that could be summed up in any ol' blog...But I'm going to try...I should not be here, wait I absolutely should! What I mean is, the way my life played out in the beginning (refer back to 'the mommas perspective' and some of my daddys entries way back) is unreal. The series of events that lead to me being born, the doctors and nurses who saw and treated me and/or my mom, the intuition, the prayers, the fasts, etc. etc. had they been any different in ANY way, whatsoever, I would not be here. To go into great detail would require writting a book, not a huge book perhaps, but a book nonetheless, something my mom is considering though... Most importantly the things I have taught people, especially my momma, are priceless beyond words. I hope I don't sound too conceded (: ...it's just that If you knew the things I knew (my mom doesn't even know entirely, she just has a strong belief I know things I can never explain in this life and I'll forget as I learn to talk) you'd understand why I went through what I did. What my mom does understand is things happened to my family, both immediate and extended that would not have happened had I not been born the way I was. Amazing things! Never did my mom think she'd be grateful for the past year and although (she says this all the time) she would not repeat the last year of her life (2 years actually) she would not change it for ANYTHING either! I should back up and let you all know I am as heathly as can be! I was supposed to see Dr. Yaish (my Primary Childrens dr. who treated my blood issues) until I was at least 2 and up to 4-5...well last time I went, was just after my 1st birthday and guess what he said??? "I don't need to see this little boy anymore"! Of course Momma cried and hugged Dr. Yaish! She was torn between shock, happiness, saddness, guilt but mostly gratitude beyond words! And then there's the neonatal follow up program for preemies, I go to every few months. Well when I went in May there was some concern with my eyes....But when I went in this last time (end of Sept.) my eyes were perfect! My hearing? Perfect! I even 'tested' ahead of schedule for my adjusted age!! A psychiatric dr. (there are ALL sorts of specialty Drs. at neonatal follow up check ups, it's pretty amazing, who monitor preemies head to toe, literally) anyway he, as well as some of the other drs I saw said, "this little boy isn't going to need neonatal follow up much longer!" They don't even want to see me back until next May!! Unbelievable considering what could have been, and especially considering what my Drs. originally thought I'd need to 'catch up' or the problems I'd have. There is still the possibility I may have asthma issues, only time can tell that, and I am pretty skinny (so were/are my brother and sister though, no cute chubby babies around the Webbs, only wiry, long, skinny babies around here:) Even my E.I. (early intervention) therapist who comes to my home once a month is going to try and 'test me out' of E.I. in January! It was orginally thought I'd need E.I. until I was at least 2 or more! Amazing, believe me, my family is soooo grateful and feel blessed beyond words! Yet one of the things I mentioned my mom experiences at times, especially when I am told I am doing so well, is guilt. The things we have seen now with some of my NICU buddies who don't fair as well as I am, if ever, cause my momma guilt. The level of empathy I taught my mom is only realized, and on a level, that is only understood if you've gone thought something similar. My momma and daddy are drawn to people now more than ever, who are going through similar experiences and want to help those people in anyway they can! Like I said they are even going to drop everything we thought we'd be doing over the next few years and go to school full time (well daddys going full time, momma needs/WANTS to take care of me and my sibs full time and school part time:) and learn how to help little guys like me!! Yep, I inspired that! My Daddy NEVER thought he's be going back to school full time, especially with a wife and three kids, and into something he'd NEVER even considered before me! Cool huh! Scary yes, my dad is excited and scared to death how he's going to do it, but things have a way of working out, and I know that firsthand(: ... I mentioned at times my mom feels guilty, well she knows she shouldn't feel guily, but it's one of those unanswerable questions, why things happen the way they do?? Actually we do know the answers a little, but as a whole, why I'm good to go already and some of my NICU buddies aren't (if ever) we don't know...and cause not only gratitude, joy etc. etc. but guilt at times...That being said I need to let everyone know who ever prayed for me, not only thank you INFINITY! But please now gear those prayers to my little friends who are either still in the NICU, ever will be in the NICU, or who come out and don't fair so well, healthwise, if ever. As hard as what I went through was, it's a walk in the park compared to some of my little NICU friends. Whenever my mom starts to forget and thinks everyday things are 'hard' or 'stressful' she thinks of me, hooked up to a bunch of machines, or all those little babies who are still there with problems FAR beyond most peoples understanding. Visiting IMCs NICU (any NICU) for months or regularly going to Primary Childrens has a way of changing your life, that isn't understandable until you do it. In some ways my mom has to remind herself not to be judgemental now of those who don't fully understand. My mom and dad were once 'one of those' parents who thought a couple vaccinations (or sleepless newborn nights) were a big deal (and they can be (: ...my momma remembers with my bro and sis:) BUT now having gone through with me what they did, it's hard not to want to punch people who complain about 'normal' newborn/pregnancy issues. Yet what my momma does instead of punch 'unrealizing' (ok ignorant) people she smiles and is soooo thankful that she, maybe not loves me more than another mother loves their baby, but definitely has a love for me in a way that isn't possible to have unless you've gone through the NICU and/or special need baby circumstance. Along with the new level of love for me, my parents have a whole new love, respect and gratitude that also cannot be measured, for medical technology and the AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, BRILLIANT, people who dedicate their lives to helping others!! And even more so than that is the love and faith my parents have, now more than EVER, for The MAN Upstairs and His Son and Spirit. Without Them there would be nothing...Ok so it's 5 AM and my momma has to get up at 7:00 to get my sissy ready for kindergarden (you should have seen my momma cry about that! She was excited for her baby girl but Momma bawled like one too when Sissy got on that bus! Luckily Sis LOVES school and we couldn't be more proud of her!) Momma also has to take Drake to Little Gym tomorrow (he has pre-school on Tue. and Thur. it's awesome, although a tear jerker for momma at first too, but awesome cause just me and mama get to hang out for awhile those couple days a week:) PLUS Momma has to go to Sisters school tomorrow and volunteer, and most of all I AM A HANDFUL NOW! So a bit of sleep is probably a good idea first...I don't hold still for a second! I am into EVERYTHING!! Me and my brother and sister keep my Momma hopping all day! And while only a couple hours of sleep is going to be a bit rough for my Momma tomorrow, her babies (and that amazing daddy of ours) she wouldn't trade for ANYTHING!!!!!

Indebted forever!

Our family will be indebeted FOREVER AND EVER to the MANY, MANY, MANY, nurses, dortors, RTs. PTs, etc...who helped me and all my other NICU buddies to this day! Such an inspiration that both my momma and daddy are going back to school so they can be one of those people who help little guys like me!! These couple pics have a cool story. One, is a picture of Stacey (one of the many FAV nurses) on the day I was going home, she gave me some presents one of which was some jammies, a size 12 month! Whao! That's never going to fit someone who starts out their life at 2 pounds!!....Well guess what thanks to those many drs. nurses etc...THEY FIT!!!!! And here they are on me, on my 1st B-Day!!! Thanks a zillion times over doesn't even come close to our gratitude for medical personnel and technology!!

San Diego

I was born September 4th, my Mommas birthday is Sept. 2nd. Of course not much of a birthday that year for either of us. I was born unexpectedly 14 weeks early and fighting for my life on the 4th and it was on the 2nd that my momma found our just how sick I was...So my momma swore as she lay in her hospital bed and if I made it, no matter what, one year later on my first birthday and her 30th!! we would do something BIG to celebrate! Guess what?? I made it!! Disneyland?? Nah I'd still be too little..Sea World/San Diego! Yay! Reese, Drake and I could all see the ocean for the first time and even I'd enjoy seeing the animals at Sea World! It meant a lot to us all and we talked about it all year leading up to it! Not so much for a 'birthday' present but more of a celebration we had made it through a difficult year as a family!! Yahooo!!! Yes, at one point on about day 3, after a fun but LOOONG day at Sea World, my daddy, surrounded by hyper, crying, laughing, sweaty, stroller(S), hungry, tired, excited, confused, done, children and baby (and wife) he swore (literally) and said something along the lines, "remind me again why did we take 3 kids under 5 to California???" Luckily all he had to do was look at me, his little miracle man and think back at what could have been and he remembered and wouldn't have traded it for ANYTHING (: And yes my Momma cried...standing on the beach with me, healthy, happy and one year old me. Cried and cried. Tears mixed with all sorts of emotions and on all sorts of levels but mostly cried of relief, gratitude and of a love she never knew was possible for someone!

My B-Day!

I wasn't too sure about this whole birthday thing (keep in mind developmentally I was only 9 months old...) I didn't understand why everyone was looking at me and I really didn't care for the taste of cake. And everyone sang to me and boy did my Momma cry! When that 'happy birthday' song started whew, tears just poured down her face for some reason ;) I think my Sissy and Bro liked my presents more than me, but I sure liked the wrapping paper!

My first baseball game!

Wow! I loved it! Good thing too, cause this was probably (no for sure) only the first of a MILLION more baseball games I'll go to (:

Summertime!

Oh I loved Summer! I got to do all sorts of fun things, swim, play outside, go camping...swim and swim somemore...

I LOVE my Bro and Sis

I just LOVE my Bro and Sissy! I try and follow them everywhere they go I even get really frusterated when I can't keep up! They are so good to me. From what I understand Reese is my sister, but she sure is like my mom..(: she holds me, feeds me and tells me NO! when I play with the sockets on the wall (or the toilet, or the drawers...) and talks to me just like my Momma does! She even gets in my crib with me in the mornings and reads me books! She loves to kiss me all the time and always tells me "big boy, yay, big boy..eww I love you" (: Drake, I think he is just the greatest, well most the time..sometimes he gets a little rough. He likes to wrestle me (sometimes I like it and I'm starting to wrestle back:) He tries to hold me, but I must be a little too heavy for him cause he usually drops me (luckily he doesn't get me too far off the ground to begin with, once he had me on the bed, but Momma didn't like that and told him not to do that even though he was trying to help me). I love watching Baby Einstein videos with him! I can tell he's going to be my good buddy. Once when Momma was telling the story of how I was born and all the stuff I went through to Reese, Drake got upset and told Momma, "don't tell me that, momma, I don't like Trevy doing those things, he's ok, don't tell me anymore those things!" My big protective Bro didn't like hearing about me getting poked and being sick in a hospital for a long time! Both of my siblings would (not so much anymore) get on edge whenever Momma and I had to go to the doctor, they liked to be reassured over and over I was coming back and I was ok.

My Family!!

ONE YEAR LATER!!! - and from Trevs Perspective

My cake!! My Momma and I used to discuss while I was still teeny tiny and in my isollete how we should decorate my nursury, we decided monkeys!! We decided that right soon after I was born but my Momma didn't actually decorate my nursery until right before she brought me home almost 3 months later!...It was too hard on her to decorate a room that would be empty for so long, but it sure was exciting when I got home and sure enough, cute little jungle animals (esp. monkeys:) decorated my room just like she promised me! So of course, I had to have a monkey on my first cake!